What am i now

Hello, the lucky one who checked this site.
I'm back.

And i prolly won't go mia for long now.

I miss writing in this space.Crafting what i want to say and how i feel... in sentences.It provides a sort of.... relief. Like how my lit teacher would call it ''emotional purging.?'' In my case, aint in a ... purging way. Really just a sorta release.

( oh and i realise i've got e habit of littering my sentences with dots now. Dont' get me wrong, i aint bored typing this.
More like....... I'm engaged in this thought process)

How ya been people?
Have ya'l been doing self checks on yourself lately?
Ever stopped for a moment, have a quiet time then look at yourself- your life. See how we've grown. I'm in college now. Whenever i catch younger girls looking at me, and holding their gaze for a second or two, it reminds me of my pre teen self--When I'll look at all ye bigger cooler girls and go '' ah, i wna be just like her.' ( At least i hope i give them that sort of feeeling ) Ha.

I realise.. i've been very careful with my words lately. Suddenly I become really cautious about what i say, how i put my messages across. Its sick. Kinda a sickening habit. People i don't talk to often will give me a ''huh? /what?' Communication. I hope it comes naturally to me once again so i can stop thinking (no people just type like its second nature to'em, you don't rly think) of the words to say .

I'm not strange.
(fyiiiii)

What next.
Whats new?

i've learnt to grow up, be less dependent on people,
find my way.It aint easy.
Sometimes we'll want to turn around and run back to anybody and anything that provides a sense of familiarity / comfort for us.How many of us realise, the past is the past. we should leave it there.There as it is. Its like expired milk. We should all burn the bridge..that bridge that allows us to backpeddle. Trudge forward. trudge forward. Ever wonder what life is about?you can search the world and never figure it out.

and my decision still haunts me.
it haunts me.. the only thing i can do
the only thing i can do. is to hold on to the promises
promises that its all gonna be ok. gonna be good,

Dandelion dust.

"' The sixteen year old on the other side of the world'.

Today ,18thjanuary started out with me wanting to nourish myself with some books.

I headed down to mph and ... i was expecting to find books for personal growth sorta stuffs. But GUESS WHAT. i ended up reading ''Justin beiber biography''. Say ''whuuuuuuuuuuuudd''.

Yeah really.

It was... awesome to read.

Such that, i spent 2hours on the cool cold floor devouring the book. laughing to myself at some moments of my read and then looking up to make sure nobody caught me in that silly state. What i realised, was that this biography written by this teenage boy served as such a wake up call for me unexpectedly.( Of my own life ) How... this dude live and breathe life is such an inspiration.He's a christian too! And there was a part that he said'' i never fail to share my faith. That i love god, and i want to tell every one else''. ( k i changed the words)

What love.

Justin bieber:

''in the bible it says 'everything works tgther for good, if you love god, but there are times when it doesnot at all. Times when you're like 'Yo, god! This is messed up. Could you pay some attention down here?' Maybe faith is the ability to chill and trust that smb up there got the list right.That when you're cool with whatever that comes your way, the reveal eventually happens and even the bad moments can turn out for good.''.

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See why i love this dude now? THOUGH. this is not the kind of guy i would go for laa. Just saying.I wna prank people too, i wna not go along with the rules and still make it somewhere, i wna not count on conventional wisdom cause god doesnt care bout that too,.,Wait. Am i asking to be taken on the road less travelled by? I .... i just..

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Side tracking a little, Its been eon since i last met valerie valencia and co.

Miss'em teenage starzzz.

Then i read another book by a triathelete, cool stuff. Titled "'Running by faith''.

He talked bout god too! Amazingly. No, i did not intentionally choose these books cause i knew these guys were gna talk about god. Just happened.

The better part is that, i can relate to how he feels. How when he feels tired, there suddenly is reserves of strength to tap on. I get it. And how he described that humans are made by god to be able to push limits takes risks and discover new frontiers that if 'the window dressing means more to you then personal evolution, it would only mean you have settled with life and decided not to grow no more. I don't wna be subjected to mediocrity. I have seen how it takes the spark off people's eyes, the spring in their step.No.

why do you think constantly?

why do you not put faith in the unfailing?

prawning gives me adrenaline rush. whuddd.

Enchante

I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she;
but,oh! The things i learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me.

I saw this poem in a book and its lovely..
I want to blog so much, honestly i love blogging.
but i wonder why i can't seem to find it in myself to start blogging again.
I want to live life ,reflect on life and be glad about it again.

where did that spirit go?

^^ time goes on and slowly but surely i know, i know. who i can count on
Who ...somehow no matter what , we might never be fated to be good friends forever etc.

Whats this feeling i am feeelinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn`.

''i realise it was only just a dream''


3jobs stints in the holiday so far, I like.

On the first day of our story

So much to say but i'm scared i end up long winded.
So i chang hua duan shuo.

1) psyched up to work at Changi airport for a day tmr. ( Doing a pretty funnish-slackish job and it pays wellll . Thanks to the lobang)
2) Had an awesome time playing the long slide at t3 with kylie and janice
3)Girls have a safe trip
4) Girls have more sleepovers.
5) I look at girls in love, i look at their radiant smile.
and i look up at heaven i look at god and i know'' i don't lack anything as well''.
6) I've been coughing my lungs out the last few days.
7) Prom was like a sugarcoated dream, The night was a beauty.
8) Filled with beauties.
9) I ought to sleep now/
10) Peace out.

Kristal in the house!!

''Sometimes you wake up

.Sometimes the fall kills you.

And sometimes, when you fall, you fly.''

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i read this quote a million times and i finally got its meaning.

''And sometimes when you fall, you fly''.

Sometimes, its the hard times.. that cause you to rise up above all.

What-a-year- 2010.

Hehe. So happy to be back, I miss blogger.

Will updateee frequently. Till then'.

Just give me a moment,

I'm gna make this blog a hit.
But, wait for me.
There are bigger things i wna achieve ///////
WHISPER LOUDLY ( bhammm pow wow grades for the big o's)
So, yeah

And betty! i love your letter! it made me tear, for you, i'm gna tryupdating my blog moreeee.
I miss blogging anyway, its just... the time i don't have.
There are so many things i wna say here, so many updates on my currrent affairs, Lollll.
Anyway, and! thanks to 4F, honestly, you'll are great people yes??

Really,. if any of you reading this thinks likewise, wait till you all leave the class.
i bet you an oreo cheesecak that you all willl miss every individual in the class!
Betty! I finally share your sentiments.

LIke... let me give you some examples.

the andrew low who is always grinning no matter what. * strong spirit there
The shafiq who keeps gettingg jagged, and called the '' shitwork warrior'' but doesn't mind one bit, cool yoz.
then, even janice, who is cheerful yet quiet,


EVerything.... hnmm...
Thanks huixun and all the people involved , who gave me my favourite strawberry shortcake.
ALways wondered how it feels, with the whole canteen and a whole bunch of people singing a hppy birthday song for you. Iknow it now. Its bliss on a whole;

Thannnks people. From the bottom of my heart,


To be continued ! off to marina barrage

Safe and dry, high and fly

Is the heart afraid of breaking,the soul afraid of dying, that fails to grow?

Right now, i feel as though.... i am fearless

( no no, not sad,)

(emotionless)

I just want to feel again. FEEL. any feeling , as long as its with intensity..

Break.the shackles.