I think me like many others did not think we would be at this stage.
Initially my reason for wanting this was pride-driven, ego-driven, driven by opinions of others, illusion, delusion.
Slowly, I've come to think about it more (forced to....) and I know I would like this since it (1) adds another dimension to life (2) aligns with my value and spending more time with people I love (3) to live more meaningfully, less self-centric?
Now there's so much uncertainty, loneliness (no matter that I meet so many people through this). We are left to face this ourselves.
I have come to realise that God has not failed in my life. The many times I felt held back, pulled back, let down, I guess I've made it through. Life has also not been rosy, so what's this setback?
God give me strength, focus and wisdom. Faith in your omnipotence and presence. That all will turn out positive.
