Veronicas

I';m leavin

I don't knw where my life is heading/where I am going. I need to stop feeling afraid/:

Belle of the boulevard

What am i now

Hello, the lucky one who checked this site.
I'm back.

And i prolly won't go mia for long now.

I miss writing in this space.Crafting what i want to say and how i feel... in sentences.It provides a sort of.... relief. Like how my lit teacher would call it ''emotional purging.?'' In my case, aint in a ... purging way. Really just a sorta release.

( oh and i realise i've got e habit of littering my sentences with dots now. Dont' get me wrong, i aint bored typing this.
More like....... I'm engaged in this thought process)

How ya been people?
Have ya'l been doing self checks on yourself lately?
Ever stopped for a moment, have a quiet time then look at yourself- your life. See how we've grown. I'm in college now. Whenever i catch younger girls looking at me, and holding their gaze for a second or two, it reminds me of my pre teen self--When I'll look at all ye bigger cooler girls and go '' ah, i wna be just like her.' ( At least i hope i give them that sort of feeeling ) Ha.

I realise.. i've been very careful with my words lately. Suddenly I become really cautious about what i say, how i put my messages across. Its sick. Kinda a sickening habit. People i don't talk to often will give me a ''huh? /what?' Communication. I hope it comes naturally to me once again so i can stop thinking (no people just type like its second nature to'em, you don't rly think) of the words to say .

I'm not strange.
(fyiiiii)

What next.
Whats new?

i've learnt to grow up, be less dependent on people,
find my way.It aint easy.
Sometimes we'll want to turn around and run back to anybody and anything that provides a sense of familiarity / comfort for us.How many of us realise, the past is the past. we should leave it there.There as it is. Its like expired milk. We should all burn the bridge..that bridge that allows us to backpeddle. Trudge forward. trudge forward. Ever wonder what life is about?you can search the world and never figure it out.

and my decision still haunts me.
it haunts me.. the only thing i can do
the only thing i can do. is to hold on to the promises
promises that its all gonna be ok. gonna be good,

Dandelion dust.

"' The sixteen year old on the other side of the world'.

Today ,18thjanuary started out with me wanting to nourish myself with some books.

I headed down to mph and ... i was expecting to find books for personal growth sorta stuffs. But GUESS WHAT. i ended up reading ''Justin beiber biography''. Say ''whuuuuuuuuuuuudd''.

Yeah really.

It was... awesome to read.

Such that, i spent 2hours on the cool cold floor devouring the book. laughing to myself at some moments of my read and then looking up to make sure nobody caught me in that silly state. What i realised, was that this biography written by this teenage boy served as such a wake up call for me unexpectedly.( Of my own life ) How... this dude live and breathe life is such an inspiration.He's a christian too! And there was a part that he said'' i never fail to share my faith. That i love god, and i want to tell every one else''. ( k i changed the words)

What love.

Justin bieber:

''in the bible it says 'everything works tgther for good, if you love god, but there are times when it doesnot at all. Times when you're like 'Yo, god! This is messed up. Could you pay some attention down here?' Maybe faith is the ability to chill and trust that smb up there got the list right.That when you're cool with whatever that comes your way, the reveal eventually happens and even the bad moments can turn out for good.''.

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See why i love this dude now? THOUGH. this is not the kind of guy i would go for laa. Just saying.I wna prank people too, i wna not go along with the rules and still make it somewhere, i wna not count on conventional wisdom cause god doesnt care bout that too,.,Wait. Am i asking to be taken on the road less travelled by? I .... i just..

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Side tracking a little, Its been eon since i last met valerie valencia and co.

Miss'em teenage starzzz.

Then i read another book by a triathelete, cool stuff. Titled "'Running by faith''.

He talked bout god too! Amazingly. No, i did not intentionally choose these books cause i knew these guys were gna talk about god. Just happened.

The better part is that, i can relate to how he feels. How when he feels tired, there suddenly is reserves of strength to tap on. I get it. And how he described that humans are made by god to be able to push limits takes risks and discover new frontiers that if 'the window dressing means more to you then personal evolution, it would only mean you have settled with life and decided not to grow no more. I don't wna be subjected to mediocrity. I have seen how it takes the spark off people's eyes, the spring in their step.No.

why do you think constantly?

why do you not put faith in the unfailing?

prawning gives me adrenaline rush. whuddd.