Muse

Resentful for things you do that you do out of your own free will. that you do cause you want to. irresponsible living. burdens effects I have to carry. why?  

all the short fused moments. all the laziness. alll the times you get angry cause minor things don't go your way. all the times you order ppl around (tho with much finesse/skills). where do you learn that from?

Learnt that your entire life your sisters served you. you protected them I suppose. but. who are you? are you somebody who waits around to be served/ lazy to do things on your own. are you hardworking and focusing your energy on the right moments? I cant tell.

why. who are you? why. be balanced in your views. 

Bits and Pieces

Rmbr not to pigeonhole life to what u know. Take chances. Communicate. Never know the places we could go with this. 

Only 1 life, someone in a completely different situation could/ would see do things differently.  Life life valiantly. Should we compete on happiness level. Would it be exhausting?  Be smart. Be resourceful. Live. 

Take various paths. Cherish what we have. 

On another note, see the young boy in my Dad. The one with many flaws too. Stubborn/ thoughtful/ considerate/ wilful/ reflective/ not rationale/ attention seeking..? / kind/ fierce eyes/ to be listened to/ to feel ok without pain/ hygiene/ habits/ many to adjust. But. Still the lovable Dad.  

So how. As per the advice I’m given I ask to cherish every time/ second I have with him. Esp if that’s what we have. At this juncture. Be with us. Lord. 

Show/help us. Have mercy. Love, Kristal.