Call.

Feeling like I'm heading to ground zero again. Rock bottom again. 

Feeling it. But I would like to... quickly hit it. So that I get enough strength for my rebound. 

Existential crisis. Again(?)

I hate it when people talk to me like they know how to live my life better than I do. 

I had this happen before. And it shouldn't happen again. I hate when others think they know it better than me. About how I could live my life better and hint that their way would be better for me. 

I hate when my voice gets drowned out and theirs come in. I hate that I let it happen. 

Confidence at an all time Low again. 

This solitary moment makes me want to come back home. 

Pretty Hurts

I hate feeling like I'm not good enough. But I Guess the truth is, with all the competition around, it's not gna be a piece of cake being fine. Down in the ditches yet again. How do I find myself in all these. Wish for simpler days yet again. But it's getting harder. And what if my actions and efforts don't match up to my motivation and intentions. Then it's all talk. I Long for days where I find my life rich in meaningful and fulfilling relationships and friendships, which flourishes and take precedent over the only things on my mind at the moment. School and work.

I yearn to have more people luck something I feel I have been lacking since I came to university. I mean, I met a few gems.... maybe they are all that matters and I'm prosperous just with them. I need to learn to be a better person somebody I can love. I wish I restrict myself less, learn to live a little more, have fun.  But I also wish I would be more serious and resilient when in it comes to the requirements I need to meet for school and work. Can I be both person at once?

Some people seem to have it all together. I wish I was born superbly capable. Can I reach where I wna be? Or are these just dreams. Do I have what it takes- the grit the mantle to pull myself together, to be a holistic, respectable person. Or am I gna fall short and live shabbily with poor character.  Would I let myself ?

I wonder where life would take me. or rather, I wonder where I will take myself.  Kristal. Time to wake from your slumber. Exchange is over.  Easy life has stopped. Get back to the grind. Grind. Grind.

The pain of regret is far worst than the pain of discipline.  Please remember.  You only want to progress. Please don't devolve. Remember. Substance and character matters. Good character matters.