That is then and This is now

Trying to find a place where I can fit in- be myself a 100% and fit in.
To be accepted, to be able to recognize my positive traits through people around me. To love and be loved.

Not.

To feel out of place. or annoying. or irritating. or a burden.

Not

To have doubts on weather they place the same value in the relationship or friendship as me.

Not

To wonder where to go.

Because it seems like everywhere I turn, I just feel inherently annoying as a person.
I have no tolerance for myself. either.

I turn everywhere yet find no safe haven.
The haven which I do sorely look for. wistfully look for. look for with conviction.

A haven in which:

I can be transported back to where I saw myself in a positive light
I have people whom I know are working hard to connect with and contact me.
Where I see less flaws in myself every single second.


Shake it off. Shake off the shackles that bind me.

Can I still hear my own voice? Or is it drowned out by the voice of the world.
Can I still hear myself? Or I'm assimilating.
Can I still..

Is this a passing phase? We grow older, circumstances change, people change,
But I do not have to be jaded. I do not, have to allow myself to be tainted.

Why do I have to learn to shut up, to listen, to agree.
Why do I have to learn to compromise, to let it pass, to accept

Raise. Your. Voice- Kristal. ( not in the literal sense )
But, because, I am given the privilege to have my voice be heard,
I should, perhaps, learn to let

love. reign.
in me.