Street

Hey. I am back. Not sure if it is because I want to. But I need to. I have so much in me, just needing to pour out. weekends are a drag. maybe because I have no company. And humans are social creatures, from what I understand. So, we need people.

I have so much so much to say. Where do I start?

Never thought I feel trapped. feel like the only way out is....
sometimes this life seems too short. and sometimes it seems too long.
we are all just looking to get by. I wish...
I feel fulfilled in all aspects of my life.

I miss childhood, miss teenage life, at least.... they were free-er. 
I am tired of putting up a facade of my life. I a tired of showing that I am just as smart. 
I wish being me, is ok. but..... we all put my facades. don't we.

this is not working. How do I get out of this depressed mood?
I am miserable at best. 
I ask myself why I am constantly chasing. I am tired. What am I chasing? I am miserable.
Is anybody there to catch me?

I am.. drowning. Depression clearly don't have a look. How do I get myself of this?
rut. Where do I begin. Should I evaluate friendships made. After evaluation, is there any left for keeping?  

I have been thinking bout what makes me happy.
I thought of a few.

Concerts?
Theme parks?
Nature?

social media is toxic. Why do we impose the highlights of our life on people?
to make them miserable. selfish beings. tapping on others/ their validation to get by.

How many, truly cares for me in this world? Could I open my eyes to see? I don't wna impose on others.

Bowling?
Sports?

Phases of life.

I would like to move on. Help me. 

only with enriching. 
take this load, lord. It is too much to bear.
Pls?

It's time to rest. not to slip away.
I do my best to be myself, and not impersonate. 
so tired of running.

everything is so imperfect. it pains me.
Isn't God's love perfect? then why then do I..... 

life is not a sprint. it is a marathon. 
sustainability is important. 
shooting star that should not be. burn bright and furious and..
Don't go off. just yet. stay there. continue. 

find something to look forward to.
I would like something genuine. 
I am looking at friendships and relationships that breathes life.

help me. help me. send help. no self-help.

Don't slip away, Kris.