Hey

Disappointment one after another. Why don’t u fight? Why do u leave it be..

One step at a time

One step at a time. Enjoy the journey.. learn to find joy as we work towards the goal/ destination. Learn to cherish. Learn to do better. Keep goinn.

Refocus.

My fear is if you have too much fun and forget about us. 

That more than 2 is a crowd. 

That I’ll no longer be as relevant to you in your life .

But I do know that holding on too tightly does not help. 

So. I’ll trust and let this go. 

If things go bad, please know I held on but it did not seem

that it was what you preferred. Gaps. Distance.

Whats constant/ safe and unfailing? Whats worthy? 

Lovinn.

 That’s bout itt. 

Sanity check

It was you and me against the world. 

And you promised forever more. 

Was it something that I said? 

Was it something that I did. 

That made me unbeautiful. 

Bout me/ bout us

Wish you cared. Ask me bout my likes/ dislike/ pet peeves/ what I cannot tolerate/ where my insecurity stems from/ what I would like to achieve.

But your focus is not here. So maybe someday you’ll see me and.. just me..? 

Someday. Sometime. We’ll know..

Hey there.

Almost do. 

This time of night you're still up
I bet You're tired from a long hard week
I bet You're sittin' in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet Sometimes you wonder 'bout me

And I just wanna tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

Am expecting that we have the hard conversations, that we work towards certain common goals. That we align our values/ milestones. 

But conversations stay light. I dislike not seeing where I/ we’re reaching. So what then..? 

Dear Future Me..

More.

I’ve put you on a pedestal. Put you first. Because you didn't give me a sense of time, yet expect fast responses and penalise me otherwise (“replied too late”) , I’ve done that. 

Lose myself in loving him? Don’t. 

Love leashed.

Will also not accept lukewarm love.  

Hence, detach. 

Since communication won’t be a priority, we will either let misunderstanding fester, or love grow colder. This is self sabotaging. But maybe for the better. Who knows. But this is intentional. 

This includes not caring, allowing anything and everything else to grow. Because recall. Bringing this up led to a tiff. Hence, there is nothing more to say. 

Ok. See you. 

Keep it low

“Don’t expect”. Have learnt it. Don’t worry I won’t moving forward. Won’t expect to have casual conversations, to maintain communication. To envision life together. Will put them on hold. 

Will live my own life. Will stop attempting to fit you in first place. Will look away. Will focus on me. 

That two words are actually very liberating. Thank you. 

So many considerations, so many people I wanted to make happy.. wna live life on my terms. Not anybody else’s. Juggling the asks. Aint easy. Just wna get by. 

Am tired. Yet I can run a marathon. Am jaded. Yet feel like I could keep on going. Am bored. Yet I think I could continue to dig to find some interests. 

Strip away everything else. What do I want?  Wna go far away, see the world, create new experiences. 

Stop caring bout what others think. Be a lil braver. Live life my way. Sing a little louder, groove to the beat more.