Hi. Am back.
Figured doing some reflections, having a pit-stop break, a sanity check would be good.
I'm about to reach 1 year at work in 1 month. Not sure how to feel about it. It's in my area of interest, so why I am so tired from work. Tired from feeling like there are people thinking deeper and better? Tired from feeling like I could be a better human being? How do I get rid of this feeling.
Why do I feel like something bigger than my present self, is waiting to come out? I would like to be mindful to live selflessly, to be cognizant of what actually matters than just 'me, Me, and ME''. Would like to cherish what I have... every conversation, meeting, moment with others. Not feel trapped by this glass ceiling.
Am 26. Past my teenage years, past my early twenties. What should I do so that the future me would thank me for putting in the effort?
Finances, fitness, mental nourishment, care, upgrading..?
Investment in my personal and professional growth..?
Stick to upgrading yourself.. Don't settle. Don't cruise...
At 15, I told myself after 18 I'll give myself a break. At 19 I told myself at 24 I'll give myself a break. At 26.. I ask myself if I am willing to give myself a break. But another part of me is telling me...that I'm at the starting of my career... I should be pushing forward.
Get better. Grow through the pains. Gain some technical skills. The knowledge would be yours to own.
Oh, did I mention how uninspired I feel..? They say to be intentional about the people you surround yourself with. Sure some inspires, some discourage, some leaves me feeling like what happened was meaningless. Zilch. I do what I can to see the better side though.. Really. Where's the balance..?
Some people give you unspoken confidence when being around them. Some are such lights in the world, give others bravery. Maybe that's why my best friend then is still regarded as my best friend now. If I don't have her, maybe I could have 1% of her light. Ironically, she sees the best of me and thinks the world of me. She's beautiful. Ok, besides that..
Recently, tattoos inspire me. Maybe just need to do something more, to feel and appreciate all that we can in this life. Would not like to go through life feeling like there were so many other aspects that I've not explored.
More spontaneous, unbridled fun? Balanced with maturity and thoughtfulness, definitely.
Would like to look back and have felt like I've experienced, appreciated and savored life's moments.So...would need to be mindful of how I'm living it, relationships and friendships I'm maintaining and growing.
I wish I wouldn't forget that person in me who felt a sense of purpose bigger than herself. Perhaps, to find my first love, to have it become clear to me how real He is again. Could my sense my purpose be found without Him? Some people get to stay in that perfect love..
I wish interactions did not have to be so deliberate, I wish when I could speak freely. Not think overtly of the consequences of what I'm saying. Miss when interactions were not dissected and analysed. Is it the gov. sector, working world, this phase of life?
I would like to build up my command of english so I become more confident in the things I say/do.
I would like to not take business like a badge of honour of productivity, usefulness, importance.
I would like to grasp the tempo of life, to feel on top of the tasks I am given.
I would like to be known as someone who is recognised to do up and hand over quality work, a competent good worker. perhaps.. leader someday.?
I would like to not spend the days mindlessly. I would like to get rid of any OCDs I have once and for all.
I would like to be look back and be proud of who I am, what I'm becoming. I don't wna hide away.
I would like to build up mental toughness, to perceive things objectively (good, bad fair ugly?)
I would like to be patient, progress takes time. Challenges help us grow. Stay focused.
When I've gotten something far from perfect, I would like to find it within me to take it fine and get better, elevate myself from there. Surely, it would all come to fruition.
Don't hide. away. embrace yourself fully. the good and bad.
Prettiness, smarts and personality. Don't yearn to be the prettiest, don't count on being the smartest, instead have personality take the spotlight. You are literally everything you have.
Ok, nts to come back to this space soon. Till then, thankful for another day and the next.
As long as we live, time passes by...
Wildflowers can't be controlled..
nothing worth having comes easy.
Touched by time, proud to be rough around the edges with a story to tell?
What's my dreams? What's yours...?
