I don't knw where my life is heading/where I am going. I need to stop feeling afraid/:

Belle of the boulevard

What am i now

Hello, the lucky one who checked this site.
I'm back.

And i prolly won't go mia for long now.

I miss writing in this space.Crafting what i want to say and how i feel... in sentences.It provides a sort of.... relief. Like how my lit teacher would call it ''emotional purging.?'' In my case, aint in a ... purging way. Really just a sorta release.

( oh and i realise i've got e habit of littering my sentences with dots now. Dont' get me wrong, i aint bored typing this.
More like....... I'm engaged in this thought process)

How ya been people?
Have ya'l been doing self checks on yourself lately?
Ever stopped for a moment, have a quiet time then look at yourself- your life. See how we've grown. I'm in college now. Whenever i catch younger girls looking at me, and holding their gaze for a second or two, it reminds me of my pre teen self--When I'll look at all ye bigger cooler girls and go '' ah, i wna be just like her.' ( At least i hope i give them that sort of feeeling ) Ha.

I realise.. i've been very careful with my words lately. Suddenly I become really cautious about what i say, how i put my messages across. Its sick. Kinda a sickening habit. People i don't talk to often will give me a ''huh? /what?' Communication. I hope it comes naturally to me once again so i can stop thinking (no people just type like its second nature to'em, you don't rly think) of the words to say .

I'm not strange.
(fyiiiii)

What next.
Whats new?

i've learnt to grow up, be less dependent on people,
find my way.It aint easy.
Sometimes we'll want to turn around and run back to anybody and anything that provides a sense of familiarity / comfort for us.How many of us realise, the past is the past. we should leave it there.There as it is. Its like expired milk. We should all burn the bridge..that bridge that allows us to backpeddle. Trudge forward. trudge forward. Ever wonder what life is about?you can search the world and never figure it out.

and my decision still haunts me.
it haunts me.. the only thing i can do
the only thing i can do. is to hold on to the promises
promises that its all gonna be ok. gonna be good,